Postcards From My Mind: Perspectives of Asperger's Syndrome

Teaching Pragmatic Skills

Beyond the symptoms, the Theory of Mind “...also involves tying all of these [skills] together into a coherent understanding [gestalt] of how mental states and actions are related...it has the duel function of representing the set of epistemic mental states and turning all this mentalistic knowledge into a useful theory [to help people make sense of their daily lives.]” (Baron-Cohen p. 51)

What is so remarkable about the Theory of Mind is just how automatically people without autism both give and interpret social cues during interactions. These cues are generally unconscious, as several studies on subtle eye movement have shown. For example, in 1967 Kendon studied eye movement in conversations of typical people and found that the speaker will make initial eye contact and then periodically look away. When s/he is finished with her/his sentence, s/he will “...look back at a listener just before finishing his or her message, presumably to check the listener's attention and reaction to the message.” (Baron-Cohen p. 118).

“...[N]ot only do we pay attention to the actual words a speaker uses; we also focus on what we think was the gist of what he or she wanted to say or wanted us to understand”. Sperber and Wilson (1986) call this a search for relevance. “The listener assumes that the meaning of an utterance will be relevant to the speaker’s current intentions. Thus, when the cop shouts, “Drop it!”, a robber is not left in a state of acute doubt over the ambiguity of the term “it”. (Baron-Cohen p. 27). As you can see from this example, using words with multiple or ambiguous meanings (such as she, he, they, later, over there, the other day, etc.) can be extremely confusing to people with autism. I’m forever telling people to give the main gist of what they are talking about before they give me endless details while I still waiting for the subject heading. Processing language is exhausting as is that by the time I’m done just processing the actual words, if I have to then turn around and infer what the speaker is trying to tell me because s/he is using multiple-termed words, I’m so tired that the conversation is no longer worth having.

Five years ago I took great offense when people would ask me if I wanted to be “cured”. I understood this statement to mean that there was something wrong with the way I currently was. Once I opened up more to where my deficits were (thanks to some wonderful friends!) and realized I still had a nonverbal social deficit, I read dozens of books on body language, facial expressions, and other nonverbal cues and stockpiled information about emotions. I had the information seemingly necessary to take another’s perspective, but had considerable difficulty applying this information to real life. “What is the problem?," I pondered. I became increasingly frustrated thinking the time I spend reading these books was a waste. What I realized is the information I acquired was not automatic, not innate. Although I could semi-read nonverbal cues, I was using rule-based logic to do so. For example, to tell if someone is not being truthful they generally pause for ½ a second longer then usual before replying. When I’m talking I should let people have a turn at least every 5 sentences (unless I’m giving a lecture!). When I’m listening I need to tell the listener that I hear him/her by saying “yeah”, “oh”, “ah-hu”, or nodding my head minimally every 3 sentences.

Every year I think it just can’t get better than this, but low and behold, year after year my skill acquisition keeps growing. Five years ago I thought that I would never instinctually learn the Theory of Mind. Now it’s becoming more natural. Actually, I’m not sure if “natural” is the best way to put it, but rather my processing time has decreased considerably – I’m perfecting an acquired skill.

Anyone who has observed an infant and thereby witnessed the self-centeredness that characterizes infanthood will agree that children are not born with a Theory of Mind, but rather develop prerequisite skills necessary for its formation. It’s a cold winter night. 2:00am. You’re snuggled tight under the covers in a tent of warmth. When all of a sudden you hear your infant bellowing from the next room “whaaa… whaaa…”. Does this infant really care that it’s 2:00am and you have to get out of bed to feed it? No, of course not! This infant doesn’t have perspective-taking skills, yet.

People are not born with Theory of Mind skills; they are learned. However, for most children, they emerge naturally as play expands. Children start learning Theory of Mind skills between ages three and five with final solidification of skills between ages eight and ten. If you notice, around age five, kids start to engage in interactively play (versus parallel or side-by-side play), linguistic skills start reflecting mental states (I feel …, I’m angry…, you hurt me…), and nightmares start to decrease (Theory of Mind skills have a direct impact on the ability to tell the difference between real and fake). Before age eight, if a mother does something their child doesn’t like, she is a “bad-mommy”. Developmentally, children are unable to simultaneously attribute two separate and conflicting emotional states to this parent (such as I’m angry now, but I still love my mom).

 

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